Does the title of this article sound a bit contradictory? Does it sound impossible? Are you thinking, how is NOT focusing on money supposed to bring me any? Well, if I've learned nothing else, the so-called "paradoxes" of this world are where truth lies.

My wife and I have been working on our money issues for several years. People who meet us now just think we're "lucky" and "doing well." But when we first moved in together, Ahnna got laid off from her job, and I was unemployed. I sold my truck, and we lived off of that, unemployment benefits, and other savings for a little more than a year. We were renting a two-bedroom apartment at that time.

Since then, I got a job (after looking for about 6 months), Ahnna started a non-profit, we bought our first house together, I got a better job, we had a baby, we bought an even larger house, and we are working on another baby. All this in only three years!

So what's changed? How do we think about money?

The angels showed us the road by pointing us to The Abundance Book, by John Randolph Price. It contains a 40-day meditation to help you change your thoughts about money. I highly recommend this as a starting place for anyone. I know that some people will be put off by what sounds like "Christian" language, but I encourage you to get over that. We have to use words to describe the indescribable (God), so this is just Mr. Price's idiom, if you will. Go with it.

In a nutshell, these meditations help you to train your brain to know that money, your job, your mortgage, or any one or anything else has any power. Don't give it any. When you focus on money all the time, you are giving money the power. You are saying that money is your source of abundance. It isn't. Your source for all abundance is God, the Universe, or whatever words you choose. Nothing else.

When we first started this meditation, about two weeks into it my car died. Let me tell you, that did NOT feel like abundance. I was eight months pregnant, and this did not feel like any kind of good timing at all. But the truth is, it was abundance—I just didn't recognize it as such until later.

Because my old car died, it made room for a mini-van, which we found used at a dealership. I worried about the added car payment. But the angels said, "See it as a gift, not a burden." So I affirmed that to myself every day. And because of this gift, we were able to get a scooter lift installed in the rear for Ahnna, who has a disability (the money for which came from an old 401k of mine). We had the lift installed about one week before our daughter was born. Good timing, because Ahnna really needed her scooter at the hospital. So it worked out perfectly.

Another thing that we had to learn about abundance was that, "Thoughts are things," as they say in the film The Secret. That is, whatever you think about on a daily basis, that is what you will create.

So you're asking, "If thoughts are things, why shouldn't I focus on money every day?" Good question.

The answer is, it's not what you focus on, but how. If you focus on getting money every day, you are focusing on lack—your current lack of money. So the Universe complies and says, "Ok, you lack money!" And so you do. If you spend your time worrying about all the bills you have to pay, then you will have even more bills to pay. You are focusing on lack. Your focus is creating lack.

If you think to yourself, "If I don't get $50 for X, I'm in trouble," then you're still focusing on lack. A focus on lack creates more lack. You are giving money power over you.

But you can take your power back and focus, with gratitude, as though you already have it, on the things that you want—and they will come to you. They may not come to you in ways that you expect, however. Don't try to tell the Universe how to give you what you want. If you do that, you will make it difficult, or even impossible to get it at all. Trust God to know the best way to deliver what you want.

For example, create a manifestation board and write the things that you want on a piece of paper, include photos, representational objects, it doesn't matter. But gratefully affirm that you have these things already, and thank the Universe for them. "Thank you God for our perfect house. Thank you God for my perfect job. Thank you God for our two healthy children." And then let God do the rest.

Money-focused living is an epidemic throughout the world, and many people are struggling with this. We see it every day. We are changing our daycare provider because we see her becoming more and more focused on the money, and what gets squeezed out of this picture? Her heart. When she began, she was following her heart, and now she is becoming worried, anxious, and money-focused, which is causing her to make bad decisions about how she runs her business. This is also taking her focus off of the children she is there to serve. Her fear of not having enough money is, unfortunately, creating even more lack in her life as she loses clients and business partners. The fear, the money-focus, is making her deaf to what Spirit needs of her. She is trying to control everything, and in reality, she controls nothing.

God is ready and waiting to give you rich abundance, but you have the capacity to block this for yourself. Money-focused thinking blocks abundance. Worries about money only create more worries.

Another woman we know lives in poverty because her own mindset keeps her there. It is very common to hear her say things like, "I can't afford X" and "The problem is..." The statement, "I can't afford" is an affirmation of lack. Every time you say something like this, you affirm to the Universe that you cannot afford it. The Universe responds in kind, giving you what you asked for—lack.

"The problem is..." is a classic statement of self-sabotage. I observe the many opportunities that are laid before this woman like diamonds and silk on a gold serving platter every day, and yet "The problem is" always finds a reason, an excuse, why she cannot pick them up and take them for herself. Fundamentally, this statement is about feeling like you don't deserve abundance.

If you believe in yourself that you do not deserve good things, the best things, wealth, and comfort, then you will never have them. This is not a judgement against you. It is not a confirmation of your feelings of unworthiness. Instead, it is the Universe reflecting your own beliefs about yourself back to you. Can this be healed? Yes, it can. But you have to start with you. Affirm daily to yourself, "I am a beautiful and worthy child of God, with whom God is well-pleased. I deserve the best of everything!" Do this until you believe it.

Of course, a little help never hurts. Even healers need healers. It is our responsibility to do the hard work for ourselves, but it helps to have someone objective to guide us through the process. Someone who can spot the self-sabotage, the fears, the little lies of the ego, and who can help us deal with them effectively. This person may be an energy healer, a trusted friend, or a therapist. It doesn't matter, as long as it's a good fit, and they can be completely honest with you.

Abundance, which includes more than money (friends, family, good health, a comfortable home, a fulfilling job), is there for everyone. It is meant for everyone, without exception. If you believe that your abundance is robbing someone, somewhere of theirs, then you are wrong. The abundance of God is endless, limitless. There is no such thing as "not enough for everyone." There IS enough for everyone. By taking your share, you can help others to theirs. It really is that simple.