Nothing terrifies us more than doing what we truly want to do, what we are truly guided by Spirit to do. In other words, if it scares the crap out of you, then that is the path you should take. The truly scary path will lead to your abundance, fulfillment, and happiness.

There have been many events in my life that have been scary and difficult, and I did them anyway. When I moved across country from Texas to Portland, Oregon, I thought that was the hardest thing I'd ever done. My (now ex-) husband and I didn't know a soul here. I'd just been laid off from my job, and the economy wasn't great. We were downsizing from a four-bedroom house to a two-bedroom apartment. None of this was easy, but I knew that this is where I was supposed to be.

Of course, now I laugh at myself for thinking that that move was so tough. Because it got much, much harder.

Through a series of "coincidences," we ended up moving into the apartment above the one that my twin soul occupied. I recognized her almost immediately, and was overjoyed to have found her again. I gave her a Reiki attunement, and we were soon running merrily down the spiritual path together. And I thought that was all there was to it, at first.

But Spirit had other ideas. We have been together so many times, in so many ways in previous lifetimes, and apparently, we had contracted to be married again in this lifetime. Finding the perfect mate for you isn't particularly scary, unless that person is the same gender as you. I didn't expect that. She didn't expect that. And as I've written in other articles, that was another Big Thing to face and move through, in addition to one small detail: I was already married.

The three of us—Ahnna, my ex, and myself—had been having this relationship triangle karma for many lifetimes, and now it's at an end. But in order to get there, I had to summon the courage to make myself happy, and leave my ex, causing him some temporary pain, and in the end making all of us happier. This was more difficult than I can express, and it brought out a lot of grief in me. It was a strange mixture of emotions: I was happy to be with Ahnna, I was relieved to no longer live with my ex, yet all of the sadness and depression that had been stuffed for twelve years in a not-terribly-happy marriage was all coming out.

I weathered the storm, and I look back and regret nothing. It has been my path, the path that has led me to an incredible life that I love. Ahnna and I married, bought a house together, and had a baby.

Still, it's not like I was finished facing my challenges. I don't think we ever do. Spirit had called us to do our healing work, and when it was time to move into a new phase, we had to face some fears again.

As we began to plan for a second child, we realized we either needed to add on to our existing house, or move. It soon became obvious that the best financial option was to move. We sat down together and wrote up a list of the things we wanted in our perfect home. We had a "must have" column and a "like to have" column. We posted this on our manifestation board and began to shop for a house.

We found our perfect home almost immediately. We barely had to look for it. And it had everything that was on our list except one item. Not bad manifesting! We made an offer contigent on the sale of our old home. They countered with a great deal, on the condition that we remove the contigency clause. We thought about it for maybe five minutes, but we knew this was the house we were supposed to have, and that it was the start of our healing center. We trusted that all would be well, and we took the leap of faith. We signed the contract.

The housing market last spring wasn't great for sellers (though it's probably worse now), and our old house did not sell immediately. Some days, we were simply afraid and worked hard to release our fears. Archangel Michael helped us out by cutting cords of fear on a regular basis. Some days, we had perfect faith and no problems at all. But even though we knew, mentally, that all was in divine order and would be well, sometimes our ego just couldn't help but say, "What the heck do you think you're doing? This could be one huge disaster!" And we'd have to quiet that voice with all of the tools we had: affirmations, angels, and faith, faith, faith that God would take care of us and not let us fall.

When we closed on our new house, everything went wrong. The signing was two days late, we had a miscommunication with our realtor and mortgage broker, and the entire family was sick with a nasty virus. We discovered on the day of signing that we were supposed to pony up the closing costs, which we thought had been rolled into the loan. Mea culpa, we should've paid more attention. I had a fever of nearly 103. The baby had a fever.

We signed, and then I spent the rest of the morning finding banks that would allow me to get a cash advance on my credit card for the closing costs. Sound crazy? We had faith that we could pay it off once our old house sold. And we really didn't have time to think about it.

We did finally close on the house, and the movers started to pack us two days later—thankfully, Ahnna had gotten a slight schedule change due to the problems with closing. But I was very sick. I've never been so sick.

The night before the movers came, Ahnna had to call 911 so I could go to the hospital. I was still running a fever, the antibiotics weren't working, and I collapsed in the kitchen. I think I blacked out. I went to the hospital, where they pumped me full of fluids, checked my lungs for pneumonia, then sent me home with more meds.

The next day while the movers were packing, a friend and I took my daughter to the ER—she was pretty sick herself, and seemed to have a hard time keeping down formula. I didn't want her to be dehydrated and end up like I did.

My daughter was doing okay, apparently, but I still had my wicked cough, and it was so bad that I literally wet my pants every time I hacked, which was about once every two minutes. As I walked through the crowded ER waiting room holding my daughter, crotch completely soaked, I thought to myself, So much for dignity. In a way, it was very freeing. I literally could not care about what other people were thinking of me. Lesson number one.

I was still running a fever when my mom was scheduled to arrive that night. I could barely function, but I heard Ahnna saying, "Asha, honey, look who came! It's your dad." And sure enough, he had come with my mom after protesting for weeks that he was too busy with homeowner's association meetings. We really needed them, and they both came! I remember seeing a golden umbrella of support that included the people in my life—friends, family—and I understood that abundance was about much more than money. It was about the people in your life, about being supported when you really need it. I fell asleep with that beautiful thought in my head.

The next morning, I wasn't feeling quite right, and I thought it must be lack of food. It wasn't. One bite of bagel nearly caused me to pass out, and I broke out into an icy cold sweat. Ahnna called 911 again.

This time, the X-rays showed pneumonia, which was making my heart beat arhythmically. I listened dispassionately as the doctor explained that this could cause blood clots, and that they'd like to shock my heart to see if that would put it right. They'd put me under, of course. Fine, I thought, do what you need to do. I will be well again, or not, as Spirit decides. There was no controlling the situation. There was nothing to control.

It didn't work, so they admitted me and put meds in my IV that eventually did help my heart to settle down again, and I gradually started to feel human once more. The next day, Ahnna and my parents moved to the new house while I enjoyed the hospital cuisine.

I went home to a new house that didn't feel like home yet, and it took me several weeks to get any energy back at all. But health returned, and a few weeks later, we got an offer on the old house. Faith had paid off.

Now our old house is gone, our credit card is paid off, and we treated ourselves to a much-needed vacation at a spa in the high desert of eastern Oregon—the first time either of us had had a spa treatment. This was abundance, indeed!

Abundance comes if you follow your heart, if you believe that God will support you on the path that you are divinely guided to. And it's not just about money, either. In the last four years alone, I have found my soul mate, the family I always wanted, the home I always wanted, excellent friends, (mostly) good health, and my life purpose—a purpose that is truly fulfilling and makes me happy. Money can't buy any of this.

But in order to get there, I really did have to move through all of my fears. My fears of uprooting myself and going somewhere new. My fears of being homosexual and living "outside of the mainstream." My fears of leaving my husband. My fears of money, and of having everything I want. My fears of stepping into my own power. My fears of being out of control of events in my life. Even my fears of dying.

Fears really are little stories told to us by our ego. "If you try to do that, you'll fail, or make a fool of yourself." As long as the ego exists, it will try to tell you these stories. Don't believe them. Use affirmations, ask the angels for help, whatever it takes, but change your thoughts about your fears so that they don't control your life. You create whatever you give energy to, whatever you think about. So pick new thoughts. And have faith.

Have faith that you are a beloved child of God, and that there is nothing you have ever said or done that could change God's love for you. Have faith that you deserve the abundance and happiness that can be yours if you want it, and allow it. Have faith that these things are yours by divine right. We are all the prodigal son and daughter, and God waits for us to return home to feast on the fatted calf and wear the silken robes that are laid out for us. What are your fears to this?