We at LightWork are pleased to offer this excerpt from Betsy's book, Walking Through Illusion, a thought-provoking imagining of the healing journeys of the people who knew Jesus Christ. This excerpt is Chapter 13 in the book. For information about purchasing the book, see Betsy's web site at www.betsythompson.com or Amazon.com.—Ed.

Complaints: How do complaints affect us?

Did anyone ever complain about you, Jesus?

Andrew complained about me when my less than magical fishing skills appeared. As a volunteer to replace disabled fishermen, I always felt welcomed before the boats were launched. After the boats were launched, and Andrew’s memory of my inadequacies returned, I felt like a liability. By then, however, it was too late to do anything about it.

Andrew never lost any men because of my inability to perform like a seasoned sailor, but we never got home without a lot of critiquing on his part and a lot of sorry’s on mine. He felt badly about his complaining and always apologized, reassuring me that I had carried my weight. I knew differently. My skills were minimal and everyone knew it.

Was it fair to critique you when you were only trying to help?

It was fair to expect the best from me that I could possibly offer. It’s just that the best I had to offer was no where near the best that Andrew had to offer. It was the best of a preaching carpenter whose skills were clearly elsewhere.

Did you feel awful when you felt Andrew’s displeasure?

Had I minimized the skills of someone else, I did.

Did Andrew and Peter fish together?

Yes, they were brothers in a family business.

Did Andrew complain to Peter about you?

No, but he complained to Peter about Peter, saying that Peter’s moods could sure use improvement when they were out on the water. Peter told Andrew to set a better example and maybe he’d follow suit. Andrew accepted the challenge and demonstrated that a good catch was incidental to the good time had while catching.

Did Andrew choose to be a fisherman before he came into humanness?

Before he came into humanness, he hoped to love whatever he chose. Fishing was the relevant choice for most of his active life. During his many adventures, he discovered that regardless of what he was doing or where he was, the light he shone on others was the light shone back on him.

Are you referring to the meting out of fair and appropriate punishment/reward?

Justice didn’t function within the framework of punishment. Justice read his aura and acted on his own behalf to bring his mirror back. Andrew didn’t always appreciate the abundance he attracted, but it still returned and it still remained appropriate.

Wasn’t abundance all the good stuff?

Abundance was whatever was. He determined the stuffing ingredients.

Andrew deserved to be loved, didn’t he?

He deserved whatever he thought others deserved.

Why should Andrew love those who weren’t deserving?

So that he could get what he deserved.

Regardless of whom he faced?

Since he only faced himself, yes. Procrastination was not effective in a world run by physics. If Andrew looked in the mirror, what could the mirror reflect from thought alone?

Nothing, but if Andrew spoke a lot, his mouth moved around a lot.

If that was the only action taken, that was the only action begotten. Mirrors couldn’t philosophize; they could only reflect. Andrew could tell his mirror all manner of things and, still, it only gave him who he was.

Did Andrew live these physics with someone besides Peter?

He lived them with his father, Jona. Andrew saw his father as having a mouth that rarely stopped and a mind that rarely followed. Be brave, respect yourself, make your mark, chart your plans, carry through, and never steal is what Jona said. What he lived was something else, cowering before his superiors, caving in under pressure, and taking what he wanted paid for or not. Jona’s hypocrisy turned Jona into a man Andrew disliked, so Andrew did the opposite in order to like himself.

Couldn’t Andrew tell the difference between good and bad advice?

He could tell the difference between what his father said to do and what his father did. Andrew followed his father’s behavior not his father’s words. Then Jona became more aggressive in his effort to be obeyed.

Jona saw himself as a patriarch, managing kin and subordinates. He didn’t realize that his own autonomy suffered as he denied others theirs. I’m not self-destructive, he thought. Surely others are crueler to me than I’m capable of being to myself.

As Andrew matured, he turned into his father, preaching about a godly way to live, and doing the opposite.

Why didn’t Jona change his tactics when he realized they weren’t working?

  He wanted to, but he couldn’t see himself as a free agent while telling others they weren’t. The universe interpreted I want to dominate into I want to be dominated. After Andrew saw himself in his father, he began to heal; not because his father stopped being a tyrant, but because Andrew recognized the tyrant in himself.

Did he believe in the theory of emotional action/reaction?

Not until he tested it to prove it worked for him. Even my enthusiasm wasn’t enough to convince him; after all, he’d heard many of my theories throughout the years; some I had kept, some I had not.

After Andrew believed in action/reaction, did anyone try to dissuade him from his beliefs?

Yes, but after he’d lived action/reaction to understand its properties, no one could tell him it wasn’t right for him.

Did Jona’s tyranny have any lasting benefits?

Andrew thought so or he wouldn’t have been his son. He could learn from that hostility, or, he could curse the world and everyone in it. As a youngster he did the latter, complaining about his father on a fairly regular basis.

As a child, wasn’t it expecting too much for Andrew to understand a domineering parent?

As an adult, was it expecting too much to understand his father?

As an adult, Andrew had other people to turn to.

And what if he turned to those who continued to feed the sympathy syndrome?

Then he had to look further for those who didn't.

Then why couldn't he look further in his youth?

Because his confidence level was lower in his youth.

If his confidence level was low in his youth, why would it be higher later?

Because his confidence would grow as he matured, wouldn’t it?

Not necessarily. Maturity was an inner process not an outer process. The longer Andrew stayed in unproduc­tive patterns, the harder they were to break. Experience had no advantage if it didn’t seed independence.

Maybe he was in pain.

Maybe he was. And if so, wouldn’t he seek relief?

Yes, but why would he find it later if he couldn’t find it sooner?

Because his need for relief intensified; Andrew wanted a father he could respect. He tried everything he could think of to create that kind of bond. Neither his irrational rage nor fawning kindness created the bond he wanted. Friends interceded, reminding him of the pressure Jona was under.

Knowing it was true, Andrew made a concerted effort to be the person he hoped his father would be. His new congeniality attracted many pleasant responses, but neither his niceness nor his rebelliousness impacted with his father. Angered by that indifference, Andrew forgot the reason he needed to love: not so that Jona’s life would improve, but so that his own life would improve.

Did Jona like Andrew?

Andrew didn't think so, but whether Jona liked him or not was irrelevant. He had to appreciate the people who did like him and forget about those who didn’t. Andrew wanted a feeling from Jona that Jona didn’t have, and wanting something from Jona that Jona didn’t have, was a problem Andrew had, not a problem Jona had.

Eventually, Andrew saw the humor in his predicament–he was so preoccupied with complaining about Jona’s behavior he forgot to notice his own.

When all this was happening, were you preaching to do unto others as they wanted to be done to?

Yes, and I was preaching the difference between living this theory and speaking it, or, the difference between a happy existence and one that was filled with hate, disease, and heartache. To do unto others was not the same as talking unto others. Doing was active. Therefore, if Andrew wanted an emotion done to him, he had to do that emotion to others. A bunch of words wouldn’t produce regardless of how many he used or what the dictionary said they meant.

When Andrew complained that nothing was working and he was stuck, I reminded him that to walk through illusion successfully, he had to understand the difference between illusion and reality. When Andrew was confused, we had the following conversation:

To know what is real, I said, you have to know what is unreal, or, the nature of illusion.

Okay, Andrew responded, illusion looks real but isn’t.

Does today seem real? I asked him.

  Yes.

What about tomorrow?

  That's not real yet. It's still a possibility.

What about yesterday? Is that real?

  It happened. Now it’s just a memory.

You believe in yesterday because you remember living it. You believe in tomorrow because today is here and you have a memory of yesterday. If you hadn't lived yesterday, and tomorrow never came, how would you view the moment?

  As everything.

Before the mind of God conceived of a yesterday and a tomorrow, it lived the only reality it had: the moment. In order to live the un-real, it had to create an illusion in which to live it. That’s what yesterday and tomorrow are: apparitions devised so energy can live the dimension of time.

  Tell me again why yesterday wasn't real.

It was real when you lived it. Now it's just a memory.

  But I experienced it.

What did you experience?

  Activities, people, jobs–things like that.

What do you remember the most about those activities, people, and jobs?

  How I felt about them.

Exactly; anything strongly felt is still with you, anything not is gone. If you have an emotion today, chances are it will still be with you tomorrow. Ten years from now, you'll be enjoying the moment, plus all the memories still pleasing your heart. That's why energy invests in time. It's a way of building on joyous reservoirs. Do you like the possibility that you're here to enhance the treasure of love within?

  Yes, but sometimes the opposite happens.

Only because you forget what you're here to find and build on something else. Nothing on the outside has validity unless it inspires love. To evaluate for meaningful truth, evaluate your eternal self. What you see with your eyes cannot support your journey. It's a dream affecting the heart so the source can be revealed.

What happened when Andrew healed?

He wanted to share his healing. And here is his message to each and every one of you:

Dear friends,

Take my hand as you wander through your day. Not so that I can show you any wonders in my world, but so that you can show me the wonders in yours. I too had a curious mind as I challenged the status quo. Many times I did so with my hands and what they could hold and touch. Many times I did so with my soul and what I could sense and feel. But, always, I was looking for new frontiers and ways to engage the intangible. What a miracle you have before you! What creativity you have brought to this heavenly game! I am deeply moved by the depth to which you have stretched your unlimited souls; so broad are your innovations, so great are your commitments, so deep are your imaginings. No effort has ever been wasted, no beginning ever forgotten, and no accomplishment ever lost. Now and forever you are the light you shine, the love you share, and the beauty you bestow.

ABUNDANCE IS SELF-INSPIRED.
REMEMBER THIS WHEN YOU THINK
THAT SOMEONE ELSE
IS THE SOURCE OF WHAT YOU NEED.

Worksheet Section: Chapter 13 – Complaints

When did you last complain?

Did you complain from a need to heal or from a need to change another?

Was either accomplished?

Do you want the feeling of accomplishment?

Then admire the people around you and make sure they know how you feel.

Questions to Ponder:

• Do I inspire self-revelation or self-reviling?

• Do I love myself, or do I try to get others to love me?

• Do I discipline myself to love, or do I discourage the presence of discipline?

CHERISH THE PROCESS.
YOU NEVER LEAVE IT BEHIND YOU.
YOU SIMPLY BRING MORE OF YOURSELF
TO THE PROCESS YOU ARE IN.

Personal Insights

If Jesus is right and illusion isn’t real, what does that mean? I imagine my future; I even imagine the people who might be in it. Some of them aren’t real yet, but they will be. When I ask Jesus about this, he says, why is the future so important? Isn’t it because you think it will bring you love? Yes, I say. So if love is in the moment and you’re happy now, why does it matter what the future brings? It does because the future will have the picture I need. Pictures don’t hold emotion, Jesus said. Hearts hold emotion; needs are emotional. The moment is everything. Today is the sum total of who you are. To gain more of who you are is a mental discipline. Therefore, if you see the emotional goodness of now, you’ll see it in the future as well.

© 2009 Betsy Otter Thompson, www.betsythompson.com