The trial begins this week for Carl and Raylene Worthington, whose 15-month-old daughter Ava died in 2008 because they did not seek medical treatment for bronchial pneumonia and a blood infection. If she had gotten antibiotics, Ava would probably be alive today. The Worthingtons believed that prayer alone—exhorting God to cure her—would be enough. It wasn't.

"Miraculous" healings can and do occur, certainly. And there is no denying the power of our own minds to assist us in our own healing. And as an energy healer, I certainly understand the power of the Divine to help us heal. So what's the problem with faith healing, then? Why is Ava dead?

The problem begins with our own expectations. We are creators in our own right, and when we are aligned with what the Divine needs of us, we are very powerful. We do not, however, control anything. This sounds like a paradox, but consider:  the only thing that we can control is our choices and our reactions to situations. There is a higher good at work that we do not understand. We don't see the big picture. So we can't control how anything plays out. We just roll with the punches.

When we pray for something, or try to manifest something in our lives, we will always succeed. However, it may look nothing like what we expected. To receive the answers to our prayers, we must be open to what that answer will look like. We will often be surprised. 

The problem that the Worthingtons have with their faith healing is that they expected it to look one way only. They assumed that God would use one method alone to heal their child. Essentially, they expected the metaphorical hand of God to touch their child on the brow and make the illness disappear. And they left no other doors open for her healing, with tragic consequences.

Ava's healing was always available to her in the form of antibiotics and western medicine. This is one of many tools, if you will, in God's toolbox. Even if you're holistically minded and prefer acupuncture and energy healing to a western physician, there is a time and a place for everything. Western medicine saves lives. Often, a combination of methods is ideal. What that combination looks like depends on the person, what they need at that time, and on the illness or condition. If you shut a door on any of these choices, you are limiting God's ability to help you heal.

Another problem with faith healing arises, unsurprisingly, from the ego. If you are telling God to heal your child in a particular way, you are operating from your ego. The ego believes that it can control things. That's why we have control issues. We really believe we can control anything outside of ourselves. And in the case of faith healing, we believe that we can control what happens to another person's body and spirit. "God, cure her. Make her live."

There is no question that the Worthingtons wanted their daughter to live. The death of a child is a parent's worst nightmare. But in their ego, they believed that they could control not only what would happen, but how it would happen.

We can't control another person's journey on this earth. Even if we do everything "right" and take our child to the emergency room and consult every specialist we can find, some children die anyway. It's just their path. It is their soul's journey, and that is out of our hands. Sometimes, the healing comes in the dying.

It's hard to blame anyone for hoping that they could control their child's illness. We often feel out of control as parents. That's because we are. But we don't like it, and we fight hard against that reality.

So, is there still room for faith in the healing process? Of course there is. You can have faith in the process. You can have faith that the tools and support you need will be presented to you when you need it. Your prayers will have answers. But it is your responsibility to look for those answers and to recognize them when they come. It is up to you to open your heart and mind to possibilities, because, as they say, God works in mysterious ways.

Additional articles:

• Martyrdom and the ego
• Why faith healing doesn't work—or does it?
• Out of control

Originally published 6/23/2009