The voices of fear - by Asha Hawkesworth

The voices of fear by Asha Hawkesworth
"The Gloomy Angel," by Sulamith Wülfing The biggest problem in the world has always been our own fears. Fear literally makes us crazy and closes off the heart, which closes us to compassion. Without compassion, we have no understanding, and we hurt others and ourselves. Fear shows itself in overt and subtle ways. Essentially, it shows up any time we are uncomfortable or challenged in our beliefs. Sometimes, the mere existence of an opposing belief is enough to activate the fear. Extremists of any stripe suffer from this fear: they feel so threatened by another point of view, that the only way they can find relief from their fear is to suppress or even kill those who look, live, or think differently than they do. This scenario has played out in recent news, with the murder of military recruiters, an abortion provider, and a security guard at the U.S. Holocaust Memorial Museum. More often, however, the effects of fear are more subtle. When my wife left her "secure" job with the county to start a non-profit, the naysayers came out in droves. And the worst naysayers were our friends! She heard every argument against pursuing her dream: What if it doesn't work out? How will you get paid? Why is your non-profit needed? What kind of certification do you have to do this? And the Biggest Reason Never to Try Anything: What if you fail? So, why were our friends so negative? My wife wasn't negative. She knew that there was a huge need for her non-profit, and that she would succeed. And she did, although it took some time. It took time to get approval from the IRS for her non-profit status. In those early months, she did not make much, if any, money for herself. But she kept after it and pursued her vision, and she ended up partnering with another non-profit who needed her services. Money began to flow, just enough to keep the non-profit alive. Now the non-profit has won grants to help it expand, and she is able to hire other people. It didn't happen overnight, but it happened because she believed in herself and her vision. Why did our friends respond negatively to my wife's initiative? Fear, certainly. But of what? Primarily, fear that she would succeed. Because if she took the risk that our friends were afraid to take for themselves, and she succeeded, then what would that mean for them? It would mean that the job that they hated could be exchanged for their own dream if they had the courage to make the change. And that's pretty scary. For many people, it's easier to remain in misery than to make the seemingly frightening changes that are necessary to create their happiness. This is the crux of all healing. When you walk a healing path, you must find your voice and speak your truth. In order to do this, you have to figure out what your truth is. We all think we know, of course. But in my experience, our truth is hidden at our core and is covered by layers of years, self-deceit, and denial. Nobody lies to us better than we do. We have to get past our personal mythology to discover what our real truth actually is. But once you peel away and heal the layers, you can find it. Once found, you must live it and speak it—which is also an act of courage. Many people have been killed for speaking their truth. Some are famous; most are not. Many of us have had lifetimes in which we have suffered for speaking our truth, and somewhere in our being, we remember this and tread cautiously. But we can't improve our lives or help the world if we hide our truth. Discovering our truth, speaking our truth, and living in integrity with ourselves is the most important act of healing that we can achieve. When we do this, we no longer fear what other people think, feel, or say about us or anything else. Others can disagree and have an entirely different truth, and yet we are unaffected because we are secure in who we are. We don't need external validation from anyone else. Those who do need external validation will still attack—mostly with words. The labels are many: idiot, crazy, crackpot, stupid, or any of hundreds of possible put-downs. (It is astonishing how many derogatory terms we have in our language, as opposed to loving ones.) But again, this is just the language of fear. What they are really saying is, "Your truth makes me uncomfortable in ways that I can't even verbalize." The key to their healing lies in this discomfort. To heal, we must all face the things that we fear. The next time someone makes you uncomfortable, see that person for what they really are: your mirror. They are reflecting back to you something that exists within yourself, which you do not love. To heal this, learn to love that part of yourself. When you do this, you enter the realm of miracles. Related articles: What it means to speak your truth We are One: All of our past lives We have two choices: Love and fear Out of control Fearsome freedom Finding peace in an uncertain world

The voices of fear
by Asha Hawkesworth

"The Gloomy Angel," by Sulamith Wülfing

The biggest problem in the world has always been our own fears. Fear literally makes us crazy and closes off the heart, which closes us to compassion. Without compassion, we have no understanding, and we hurt others and ourselves.

Fear shows itself in overt and subtle ways. Essentially, it shows up any time we are uncomfortable or challenged in our beliefs. Sometimes, the mere existence of an opposing belief is enough to activate the fear. Extremists of any stripe suffer from this fear: they feel so threatened by another point of view, that the only way they can find relief from their fear is to suppress or even kill those who look, live, or think differently than they do. This scenario has played out in recent news, with the murder of military recruiters, an abortion provider, and a security guard at the U.S. Holocaust Memorial Museum.

More often, however, the effects of fear are more subtle. When my wife left her "secure" job with the county to start a non-profit, the naysayers came out in droves. And the worst naysayers were our friends! She heard every argument against pursuing her dream: What if it doesn't work out? How will you get paid? Why is your non-profit needed? What kind of certification do you have to do this? And the Biggest Reason Never to Try Anything: What if you fail?

So, why were our friends so negative? My wife wasn't negative. She knew that there was a huge need for her non-profit, and that she would succeed. And she did, although it took some time. It took time to get approval from the IRS for her non-profit status. In those early months, she did not make much, if any, money for herself. But she kept after it and pursued her vision, and she ended up partnering with another non-profit who needed her services. Money began to flow, just enough to keep the non-profit alive. Now the non-profit has won grants to help it expand, and she is able to hire other people. It didn't happen overnight, but it happened because she believed in herself and her vision.

Why did our friends respond negatively to my wife's initiative? Fear, certainly. But of what? Primarily, fear that she would succeed. Because if she took the risk that our friends were afraid to take for themselves, and she succeeded, then what would that mean for them? It would mean that the job that they hated could be exchanged for their own dream if they had the courage to make the change. And that's pretty scary. For many people, it's easier to remain in misery than to make the seemingly frightening changes that are necessary to create their happiness. This is the crux of all healing.

When you walk a healing path, you must find your voice and speak your truth. In order to do this, you have to figure out what your truth is. We all think we know, of course. But in my experience, our truth is hidden at our core and is covered by layers of years, self-deceit, and denial. Nobody lies to us better than we do. We have to get past our personal mythology to discover what our real truth actually is. But once you peel away and heal the layers, you can find it. Once found, you must live it and speak it—which is also an act of courage. Many people have been killed for speaking their truth. Some are famous; most are not. Many of us have had lifetimes in which we have suffered for speaking our truth, and somewhere in our being, we remember this and tread cautiously.

But we can't improve our lives or help the world if we hide our truth. Discovering our truth, speaking our truth, and living in integrity with ourselves is the most important act of healing that we can achieve. When we do this, we no longer fear what other people think, feel, or say about us or anything else. Others can disagree and have an entirely different truth, and yet we are unaffected because we are secure in who we are. We don't need external validation from anyone else.

Those who do need external validation will still attack—mostly with words. The labels are many: idiot, crazy, crackpot, stupid, or any of hundreds of possible put-downs. (It is astonishing how many derogatory terms we have in our language, as opposed to loving ones.) But again, this is just the language of fear. What they are really saying is, "Your truth makes me uncomfortable in ways that I can't even verbalize." The key to their healing lies in this discomfort. To heal, we must all face the things that we fear.

The next time someone makes you uncomfortable, see that person for what they really are: your mirror. They are reflecting back to you something that exists within yourself, which you do not love. To heal this, learn to love that part of yourself. When you do this, you enter the realm of miracles.

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