When I wrote The Man with a Personality, I was more conscious than usual that I was getting some help from a higher source, but I wasn't entirely sure what the whole thing meant. I finally have a better understanding of what I was exploring: the return home to my God-self, and my own fears of doing so.

Circles

The story is full of circles: Roundabout Computing, Circle City, hoop earrings, there are circles everywhere, even in the songs that Harold listens to on the radio. And that's what life is: a circle, Ouroboros eating its tail. What comes around, goes around. The ending is the beginning.

Personality and ego

The heart of this story is the issue of personality, or ego, and the fears that come out of it. All fear comes from the ego. There is no fear with God, or the Universe. It's all ego. When I wrote this story, I was a lot more in my ego than I am today, but I was still searching spiritually. I think it's safe to say that one of the biggest fears that people must face is what they believe is the death of their personality if they return to God. If you become One with God, if you ARE One with God, then what happens to that "specialness" that is you? We mistakenly believe that our personality is what makes us special. It does not. Personality is a set of patterned reactions to situations that we have learned. It is not who we are, but it is often who we think we are.

So in this story, Harold has a mid-life crisis. Who is he? He finds that he'd been drifting, and lonely, for many years. Years that have slipped into oblivion. He wants a cure for that loneliness. If he can change himself so that people like him, it will fix things. It doesn't, of course, because he's not being true to who he is. It's not HIM.

Then one day he realizes he's had enough. He begins a searching path, which is an allegory for spiritual searching. He heads out into the country, making left turns (intuitive brain), until he finds community, and Oneness.

Oneness and Circle City

The story ending is a bit dark, and the feast is inspired by the ancient pagan rite of choosing, then sacrificing and eating, the symbolic King. It was a visceral way of becoming one with God, or nature. (This is carried over into the Christian sacrament, even today, where the blood and flesh of Christ are symbolically eaten.) So the end is a symbol for rejoining Oneness, for going home.

Okay, the "black comedy" aspect is my ego's fears of disappearing. "Ohmigosh! God's gonna swallow me up, and then I won't exist!" And it's true—when I rejoin with God for good, my ego will disappear. But I won't! I know now that I am more than my ego. My ego is only my creation, and I won't need it.

The baseball game is, well, a game. Isn't that what we're all playing? And the team members are interchangeable. People come, people go, and it doesn't matter. It's just a game.

Corporate culture

I'll admit that this story is oddly structured, but I felt that Harold's journey in corporate culture was important to the story. Corporate culture has become American culture. It's sad. It's anti-people. And Harold feels the emptiness. He feels the shallowness, the back-biting, the fear. Then he can't take it any more, and he goes searching.

And what does he find? A true community, where people know one another. They play together. They feast together. They've literally circled their wagons. And it's a return to nature, to a slower life.

Virgil

Virgil is partly Dante's Virgil, except he's not much of a guide. In a way, he's an impartial observer. He's just watching the show. There's a bit of the Tarot Fool in him, but there's also something unhealed about him, too.

The sign over the back door of the barn reads, "What Comes Around, Goes Around" (instead of Dante's "Abandon All Hope Ye Who Enter Here"). We are ALL destined to return home to God.

See Circle City

The concept of Circle City and the barns was partially inspired by Rock City, and there are still barns in the American South with "See Rock City" on them.